Im Already There
by Maddieiddam
Summary: Logan Wright is off fighting in a war. His one wish is to return home to his love, Julian, but he soon finds out that that dream is farther away than he even anticipated. One shot. Jogan. Angst with slight romance.


**MY JOGAN SOBS!**

**I mean... yeah.**

**So, if you didn't gather it from my sobbing up there, this is Jogan angst.**

**It's set to the song 'I'm Already There' by Lonestar.**

**I know that it doesn't follow the song exactly, but this is all I could think of when I listened to it!**

**So enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Logan groaned and ran his hands through his hair. His eyes filled with tears as he pressed his forehead to his knees, trying not to sob. He recalled the conversation that had just taken place back at base.<p>

-x-x-x-

_"Gather 'round, men." A large man called out. "I have some news, and you might want to hear it." _

_ Logan glanced around at the others and took in their excited expressions. He knew they were hoping for the same thing he was; to go home._

_-x-x-x-_

It had been a long time away from home. Away from lovers, children, family, a sense of security and safety. It was long missed, and every man there wanted to get back to it.

-x-x-x-

_"What's going on?" Logan asked pushing in between two of the men in his troop._

_ "I don't know." The burlier one spoke. "But I hope it's what I think it is. Home." _

_ "Yeah." The shorter man on his other side called out. "I got a wife and kid back there. Well, I hope I do. Haven't heard from either of them in a while."_

_ The burlier man agreed, beginning to talk about his little girl, but Logan didn't listen. He hadn't heard from Julian in a while either. He knew he wouldn't be avoiding him. Why would he? Julian had promised him that he would be there when he got back. That he would run to him the second his plane landed on the base, wrap him in his arms and kiss him like it was their last. They had a child. She was young, adopted from Italy about a year before Logan had been sent off to fight. She must have been about 4 now._

_ Logan shook his head and glanced up as the Sargent called out, asking if everybody was present. "Good." He barked out. "I have some news, you may no-" But he was cut off by the loud cheers from the men surrounding him. _

_ The thought of going home had been too much. Excitement buzzed through the air as whoops of joy were hollered out from different sections of the base._

_ Logan smiled at one of the men who was currently jumping around behind him, but stopped shortly after, turning back to look at the sergeant. He furrowed his brow at the look crossing the larger man's face. It was grim, as though he hadn't finished what he was trying to dish out._

_ "Hey!" Logan shouted out. "Hey! Guys! Calm down! Sargent hasn't finished!… SHUT UP!" He barked out as a last resort. _

_ The men immediately calmed down and turned their sights back to the man. Their exteriors remained calm, but they were still excited. A few men bounced anxiously, waiting for the words that meant they were free. But they never came._

_-x-x-x-_

Logan squeezed his eyes at the memory. It was painful, remembering the moment he knew would mean the end of him. He flipped out his old leather wallet. It contained nothing but old pictures. A single tear rolled from his eyes as he remembered the exact words the Sargent had said.

-x-x-x-

_"Like I was trying to say, you aren't going to want to here this." The large man sighed, collapsing backwards onto a over turned crate, the old wood creaking under his weight. "We're surrounded. No way in, no way out."_

_ A large uproar broke through the silence, the voices of angered and confused men spreading quickly. _

_ "What do you mean, 'surrounded'?" A man in the back of the group called out._

_ "We're trapped. We can't leave. We could try, but it'd be a death wish." The Sargent responded._

_ "Why don't we just stay, then? Bring in more supplies. It's not that hard."_

_ "It won't work!" He barked out. "We're. Surrounded. Register it, men. No way in, or out. We either starve, surrender, or go down fighting."_

_ The murmuring increased, but instead of anger, the voices were full of worry and sadness. _

_ Were they really trapped? If so, does that mean they would never be able to see their families again? Watch their children grow, or kiss their lovers?_

_-x-x-x-_

Logan flipped through the pictures in the wallet. Some were older than others, crinkling and tearing at the edges. Other were newer; fresh, crisp, and clear.

Logan started at the beginning. It was a picture of him as a young child.

It was summer, and he was outside his house, running about their giant backyard. He wore a bright pink shirt, stolen from Ethan and Evan, and black shorts that billowed against his thin legs. His hair was bleached due to the sun, and a light spattering of freckles dusted his cheeks and nose. He wore a smile across his features as he looked back at his dog. His name was Rocky, but Logan always called him Spot. No one knew why, not even Logan, but to him, it made sense.

Logan chuckled at himself as he flipped to the next picture.

It was one of him during a sleepover at the Brightman's. He was about 13, and Ethan and Evan had managed to get him to wear nothing but duck boxers all night. The twins sported similar pairs, but theirs had pink ducks, instead of yellow.

He would miss those boys. They had meant a lot to him, even if they didn't know it. They had been his first, and for a while, only friends. They had been his first kisses, and the first two he had ever experimented sexually with. They were a big part of his life, and still were, regardless of whether or not the wanted to be.

Logan continued flipping through them, going through his childhood, reliving every moment that he could. He stopped on his first day at Dalton. It was a picture of him, Julian, and Derek. He laughed at the bored look Derek sported. The boy was never one for picture taking. His eyes turned to Julian.

_Julian. _

Logan stared at the boy. Even back then, he knew they would be best friends. Julian's smile was large, but Logan could sense the nervous undertones to it. Logan smiled lovingly one more time at it, before flipping to the next one.

It was of him and Blaine. Derek had managed to snap that one while they were hugging. Blaine's curly hair pressing agains't Logan's shoulder, a small smile on both of their faces.

Logan admitted that he would miss Blaine. Sure, they had had their ups and downs, but once Logan had given up on Kurt, Blaine seemed to warm up to him once again.

He flipped through the rest silently, new tears springing up in his eyes. He stopped on his favorite picture. The edges were frayed from being held so much, the white backing smudged from Logan's dirty hands over the years, but it still meant so much.

It was the first picture of Logan and Julian as a married couple. Not just that, but it was their first kiss as so. Julian was on his tip toes, wrapping his arms around Logan's neck. Logan had his arms draped around the other boy's waist, hands resting gently on his back as he slightly bent down. Logan was attempting to contain his smile, but Julian couldn't do so. He smiled widely into the kiss, his features absolutely glowing.

Logan looked away as tears began to roll slowly from his eyes. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. He never would be, but he knew that it had to be done.

-x-x-x-

"_We go down fighting, of course." Logan spoke loudly, though the disgruntled murmurs from the men suggested they do other wise. He groaned, running his hand through his soft blond hair. _

_ Julian would never get to do that again. _

_ "Well do you suggest we starve? I sure as hell don't want to surrender. I'd rather die quick and fast, with at least a fighting chance to live than to be tortured for the rest of my miserable life! Choose wisely, but I'm fighting." Logan finished, pushing through the crowd of men and out of the large warehouse._

_-x-x-x-_

He had jumped into one of the rarely used vehicles, grabbing his wallet and one of the portable phones. It was old, rusty, and muddy, but it worked.

Logan flipped through the pictures one more time, slowly taking in everything he could. It bought back his fondest memories, flipping emotions throughout his mind.

He took a few deep breath before starting the rusty car and driving away from camp. Sure, he hadn't been too close in the first place, but the farther away, the better. He pulled off the side of the road, finding a small, secluded clearing. He stepped out and leaned up against one of the trees surrounding the area, the cool air and moist grass chilling him deeply.

Logan dialed the familiar number, the one he had called so many times before he was deployed. He had called Julian for everything. To tell him about his new job, the adorable kids he saw at the park as he drove by, the beautiful color of the sunset that night, or even just to tell him he would be home soon. So many pointless calls, just to hear Julian's voice. This would be the last.

He heard the dull dial tone, sending his call along the long distance back to his home, the one place he longed for more than anything.

"Hello?" A voice picked up from the other end, a small chuckle proceeding the greeting.

"Julian?" Logan asked, trying to contain his tears.

"Logan?" Julian gasped out. "Logan! It's you!" The smile was evident in the tone of his voice, his disbelieving chuckle sounding like music to Logan's ears. "Logan? Are you there?"

"Yeah, babe. It's me."

"Logan! I've missed you."

"God. You don't even know, Jules. It's lonely out here."

"I know, baby. But don't worry, you'll be home soon, I hope." Julian finished, a hint of hope in his voice.

Logan was preparing to talk, but was cut of by the sound of some kids, laughing in the background. He felt a tear slip from his eye, and he wiped it away quickly.

"Daddy?" A little voice came on the phone. "Daddy! It's you!"

"Yeah, sweetie. It's me." Logan replied back, his voice broken.

"Oh, daddy. When are you coming home?"

Logan gulped, trying to push back his tears. He didn't want to cry in front of his daughter, but it was hard to control. This was the last time he would ever hear her melodic voice, and it killed him inside.

"Daddy?"

Logan couldn't lie to her. He had to tell her something. He said the first thing, that came to his mind.

"I'm already there.

Take a look around.

I'm the sunshine in your hair.

I'm the shadow on the ground.

I'm the whisper in the wind.

I'm your imaginary friend.

And I know, I'm in your prayers.

Oh, sweetie. I'm already there."

The little girl on the other end sniffled. "Really, daddy? I'll keep my eye out for you then. I love you."

Logan let out a sob at her words, squeezing his eyes tight trying not to loose it.

"Oh daddy. Don't cry. I'll go get daddy. He'll want to talk to you too. Bye daddy! I love you."

"I love you too sweetie." Logan choked out, pulling his knees tight up to his chest.

"Baby?" Julian's voice came on the line. "Baby? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Jules. I just… really miss you. So much." Logan sobbed once again, his head beginning to hurt from squeezing his eyes so tight.

"Logan! Take a deep breath, baby. Calm down. Tell me what's wrong. Please, Logan."

Logan took a few deep breaths, his hands and lungs were visibly shaking. After a moment, he had regained control. "Jules? I don't know how…. how to tell you… I just… I just wish you were here with me… to say go-"

Julian cut in, silencing the blond gracefully. "Logan. I wish I were in your arms, lying right there beside you, but I'm not. I can only hope, that tonight, I'll be in your dreams, like you've been in mine for the past 2 years." Julian sighed deeply, his breath shuddering a bit. "I don't know when it'll be, but I promise I'll see you again. And I'll gently kiss your lips, touch you with my fingertips. So close your eyes, Logan. I'm already there."

Logan began to cut in again, but was once again silenced. He took the opportunity to break down, knowing that this was the last time he would ever hear Julian's voice. The sweet words coming from his lips would be with him until he died, but then they would be gone. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks, his breath shaking with every small inhale he managed.

"Don't make a sound.

I'm the beat in your heart.

I'm the moonlight shining down.

I'm the whisper in the wind.

And I'll be there 'till the end.

Can you feel, the love that we share?

Oh, I'm already there."

Logan murmured brokenly into the phone, his words barely coming out legible between his sobs and the tears streaking his features. "I love you, Julian. So much."

"I love you too, Logan." Julian sighed, his voice beginning to waver. "This is the last time I'll be able to say those words directly to you, won't it."

Logan heaved, his face contorting into uncontrollable pain and sorrow. He nodded vigorously, hoping that the message somehow conveyed through the line. It did.

"Remember, Logan. We may be a thousand miles apart. But I'll be with you, wherever you are. And I have a feeling… that… that you will be to." Julian began to cry, silent sobs wracking his body with tears pooling in his eyes, some slowly beginning to roll out.

"I love you, Julian. So much. I always have. I always will."

"And I love you, Logan. That'll never change. Even once your gone, my heart will always belong to you. I love you."

"Goodbye, Julian. My love." Logan pressed out, barely able to control his voice.

"Goodbye, Logan. I'll always be there."

* * *

><p><strong>Like it?<strong>

**Hate it?**

**Wanna punch me?**

**Tell me about it.**

**And if you want to prompt me, feel free to do so.**

**Thank you **

**:D**


End file.
